Thursday, May 10, 2012

Time Flies

This morning Miles cried when I left, which was a first. 

I wasn't ready to do the right thing by being strong.  I caved and held him again and kissed his fat little cheeks and let him cling to my neck for a few more moments. 

Brittany and I were able to get him calmed down with a binky and Super Why (his favorite show).  But it was kind of sweet in a weird way - not that I want him to cry or be sad. But it was nice knowing that he would miss me today as much I would miss him. 

Tomorrow my baby turns 11 months old, and it's got me thinking about how quickly this year has gone by.  He's so big now! Walking and getting into everything.  This morning he put a weeble toy in the toilet.  It's like he's obsessed with all the things he shouldn't want to play with!  (trash can, toilet, toilet wand, etc.)  He's also obsessed with chasing the cat around the h.ouse, exclaiming  "Ga! Ga!" 

Sadie is not amused.

But this age is so much fun.  I am finally getting why people have like four or five of these! Not that I want to...

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Apple of My Eye

A funny little story - on Friday I was at Panera with my mom, sister and Miles.  All during our lunch I was giving Miles chunks of honeydew melon and canteloupe, which he loved.  A few minutes later he grabbed the apple off my sister's tray and started gnawing on it, sinking his little teeth into the fruit.  It must have felt good on his little gums.
Mom and I grabbed our phones and snapped a few pictures.  We were laughing at how adorable he looked holding this apple. It was so cute!
Until a few minutes later when he choked for a second on a piece of skin.  He gagged a little - then yakked up formula and honeydew all over himself and the table and carpet. 
One beat of silence - then my sister and I burst into laughter.  As soon as I realized he was fine, I couldn't help cracking up.  It was so out of the blue, and it reminded me how life with a kid can turn on a dime. 
One second you're reveling in the beauty of your child, and the next you're on the floor of Panera cleaning up puke. 

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Playing Chase

Last night after Robert got home, he and Miles played chase.  That's their favorite game. 
It's always starts out really cute, because Miles has the most delighted laugh.  Adorable, melt your heart, belly laughter.  But I usually wind up standing in the kitchen, anxious, because I know what I'm about to hear: Miles crying  after he's fallen and hurt himself somehow. 

It seems like ever since he started walking, he's been falling.  It's so hard not to rush to him and comfort, soothe and hold him.  This is what I struggle with daily.  Because I don't want him to be a whiner or a kid who thinks he is hurt when he isn't.  So I attempt to hang back and be cool, waiting to see if he really needs me.

Over the weekend he fell, and I rushed to him, while Robert said, "Don't pick him up.  He's okay."  But mamas know the difference between a cry that means "I'm hurt" and a cry that means "I'm mad that I fell."  And this was an "I'm hurt" kind of cry. 

And he was.  Poor little dude cut his lip on one of those four crazy baby teeth he has.  There was a little blood. 

I surprised myself by being calmer than I would've thought - especially since I was about to walk out the door.  We put a teething ring on his lip, which made it better.  And I held him on my lap for several minutes, which made me feel better. 

And it struck me that this is what motherhood is all about -  knowing how to find that elusive balance between being there too much and not being there enough. 

Sometimes I lie in bed, freaking myself out because he is ALL the way downstairs (where he has been sleeping since he was three months old!), worried that he might need me but somehow be unable to cry out for me.  And then I remind myself that he is turning into a little boy; he is a person who needs his own bed, his own space. 

I know that I will always have to work on that sense of balance when it comes to my baby.   Has any mom ever achieved it successfully? Probably not.  But I guess being a mama means you have to try.