Friday, January 20, 2012

Saying Goodbye

Yesterday I found out that my closest girlfriend, the one who has been with me through tears, hysterical laughter, drunkenness, travel, concerts, countless dinners and talks, boyfriends and breakups, marriage and birth, the one who feels like a sister... is moving to Cairo in September.

I'd like to say I can think about it now without crying, but that would be a lie.

I am overwhelmed with sadness every time I talk about it or think about it too long.  On one hand I am so very excited for her - what an incredible journey she has in front of her!  And I know she is excited for me, even though my journey isn't on a road or an airplane, it's in my heart with my family.

And that's how our lives have grown to be so different within the past five years of our friendship.  We started out both nursing broken hearts, healing though being there for each other - on the other end of the phone, across the table, next to a pool, on a dance floor.
Now look at us.
I'm blissfully, happily married with a beautiful, hilarious baby boy who is teaching me that being a Mama is the most important and stressful job I could have ever asked for.

She is finishing up her doctorate (!), which she has completed while teaching full time and publishing heartbreakingly beautiful poetry.
I am so proud of her.

I knew this move was coming.  I knew we would have to say good-bye someday.  But now there is a concrete destination, and it feels really real.
I feel like I am preparing to say good-bye to a part of myself.  There were five of us girl who (until this year) were close, close friends.  Two of us are gone.  A third is going.  And who knows what the future holds for the two of us left behind.

Columbia was our playground for a long time.  I guess it's time to move on.

It's time to go and be better versions of ourselves.
Even if that seems impossible without one another's hands to hold along the way.

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